Here are my 7 ways to control your ego and stop it from stopping you from reaching your goals! But it also has to do with specific beliefs that make you see reality how you do and believe that this is the only true way. The ego engages in secondary process thinking, which is rational, realistic, and orientated towards problem-solving. It works to suppress all unacceptable urges of the id and struggles to make the ego act upon idealistic standards rather that upon realistic principles. The ego struggles with anything that threatens the self-concept and damages worldly notions of self-worth. As Th anissaro Bhikkhu says, a healthy ego is necessary to have an “ honest sense of how to learn from your past mistakes for … If a plan of action does not work, then it is thought through again until a solution is found. Simply, the ego is not your friend. The ego operates based on the reality principle, which works to satisfy the id's desires in a manner that is realistic and socially appropriate. It’s normal to want to achieve success, possess nice things and have some security. If your focus is on who was behind a great idea instead of which ideas your company should choose, the ego barrier is probably to blame. The superego tries to perfect and civilize our behavior. For example, if a person cuts you off in traffic, the ego prevents you from chasing down the car and physically attacking the offending driver. It isn’t normal to have an insatiable desire to attain the most of something– money, cars, homes, power, etc. Here are 9 signs your ego is in control of your life: 1. The ego ideal includes the rules and standards for behaviors that the ego aspires to. Your ego is the product of the emotions, thoughts and memories you’ve accumulated over your whole life. Your ego is responsible for seeking approval of others and what they may think if you fail. Everyone is equal, no one is better than anyone else; your higher self knows that, but ego does not. This is known as reality testing and enables the person to control their impulses and demonstrate self-control, via mastery of the ego. It is trying to make you feel better, but it can go too far. Your ego is the part of you that says you are better than someone else. Ego makes you over-estimate your own abilities and worth, … It is not your soul, or your higher self, but rather the mask your higher self wears in this physical reality to identify itself as an individual. Let your partner or friend know how beautiful they look today and how great that dress looks on them. Your ego is your self-image, and it allows you to be aware of yourself as a person separate from everyone else. Plus it is an easy way to pretend that your ego problems don’t exist for just a bit. Your ego isn’t going to lead you to do what is best for you. It is the “you” that most people typically relate to. The ego can easily steal your joy by filling you with worries, concerns, regrets, and embarrassment. Compliment others: It is a great thing to compliment others. Do Not Fear the Ego. Too much is never enough. Greed can bring down an individual, a family… even a society. The ego tends to adopt labels, like a nationality or a race. The ego's voice is much louder than that of your true self, so you must lend an attentive ear to the more positive, enlightened counterpart. Be aware when the ego is clouding your joy. It goes on guard to point out all the negatives. If your ego is wounded with afflictions such as self-belittlement, you need to reclaim a balanced sense of self in the first place. 1. 9. Everything Has a Purpose While you shouldn't fully listen to and obey your ego, there's no need to condone it. Your ego is there to constantly tell you what is lacking. 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